Return to Phaedro (Caveman Chronicles)

~ I. Graham Smith ~ 3 Comments

The Index -|-

Kpleeb sipped lukewarm water from a shallow bowl and then leaned back to regard his daughter. She was growing fast, and he was reminded of her Mama. Thoka had been beautiful with a unique look about her that had immediately caught his eye. Her pale hair was very uncommon in his experience. While her features were different, but he could not really explain how. Zara’s hair favored Kpleeb’s own; wild and brown, but her facial features, attitude, and the way she spoke had the unmistakable influence from her Mama.

“What did the Xi think about the Hkkli battle?”

“They did not see it. I have instructed them to remain inside and out of sight. The Hkkli might become violent again if they catch the Xi alone.”

“Seems like a good idea. I bet the tales of what the Xi did to Hiro and Saeli have been told far and wide. Speaking of them, I’ve been thinking about assigning a Ganix leader or two,” he said changing the subject. “As you said before, we need them, and there are some among the Ganix that are more than capable. I really like Xir.”

“Xir is a natural leader, but maybe it’s just that he is always nearby.” Zara put down her tools and turned to look at him.

“He is always here, but I’ve seen how the other Ganix defer to him.” Kpleeb shrugged. “I respect him, and I believe he knows how we think and what we care about.”

“What about Jial?” asked Zara. “Since Migri died, she has become perhaps the most decisive Ganix cave-woman. Everyone loves her.”

Kpleeb grimaced as he remembered Jial’s bossiness. “I don’t love her.”

“You’re just not pleased with anyone who is so direct about things you don’t want to hear, Da.”

“I do respect her, though,” said Kpleeb quickly. He paused for a long moment. “You’re right. She is pushy and it grates on me. But at least I know she’s honest.”

“True,” said Zara. “What if we let them share the leadership?”

Kpleeb shook his head as he pictured Jial wagging a finger under Xir’s nose. “A pair of people will always come to a stalemate or one of the two will boss the other one around. I wouldn’t wish that on Xir. He already has a wife! No, it would have to be one person… or perhaps three to always bring a balance.”

[Maybe I’m not the best at diplomacy and such… I wish Thoka were here.]

Zara pointed at him. “Xir could be the final decision maker with absolute command over everything, especially the warriors and hunting. Jial could be in charge of the women and the village. With Xir being so quiet, he would not be too demanding. It would be a good balance.”

Kpleeb nodded slowly. “Xir is in charge, and we help him by delegating a subset of the tribe to Jial. I think it will work. We should talk to them before you return to Phaedro.” He stood and stuck his head out of the hut door. There a few paces away, a few children played together in the dirt with some kind of yellow stone ring.

“Genk, go find Xir and bring him here. Biet, you find Jial. I want to talk with them.”

The cave-children looked up at him and then at each other.

“Go on, get!” hollered Kpleeb. “Don’t act like you didn’t hear me.” He waved his hand and two of the children leapt to their feet and scampered away.

In moments, as Kpleeb sat back down with his bowl of tepid water, the light from the door darkened. Jial entered slowly. “Ah, there you are Jial. Thank you for coming!” Kpleeb stood again and smiled awkwardly at her.

“I busy. What want?” Jial looked at him without a smile.

“Xir is coming too,” said Kpleeb gesturing toward Zara. “We wanted to speak with you.”

Jial lifted her chin slightly, sat down, and examined the interior of the hut with a look of disdain on her face.

Xir poked his head into the door. “Builder,” he said nodding at Kpleeb. He entered and nodded at Jial without speaking.

Kpleeb sat and smiled at Jial and Xir. He waved at Zara. “Come, let’s talk.” Without waiting for a response, he began to speak.

“We want you to become the leader of the Ganix,” he said looking at Xir. Switching his gaze to fall on Jial, he continued. “And we want you to become Xir’s support system, his helper and backup.”

Xir was silent, but his brain was clearly processing the statement.

Kpleeb saw Jial begin to frown. “What are your thoughts?”

Jial let out a long breath as she looked at Xir as if waiting for a response. Finally, she spoke. “Builder is leader.”

Kpleeb nodded quickly. “This is true. I am the leader, and Zara is my helper.” He looked at Zara and smiled. “We want to make sure that someone is the leader if we are not here.”

Zara raised her hand. “There may be time when Da and I are not here or perhaps there may be a time when there are too many warriors to speak to. We must have leaders in charge of the Ganix the way Saeli and Hiro are with the Koratu.”

Xir lifted his chin definitively and looked at Kpleeb. “Yes, Builder. I serve.”

“Thank you, Xir. I trust you, and I know that the Ganix warriors also trust you. What do you say, Jial?”

Jial scowled as she spoke. “I serve, Builder.” She looked at Xir. “If Xir not listen, I break nose.”

Xir turned his head and showered Jial with a gaze of distinct indifference. Then he stood to leave.

Zara spoke up. “Xir, I am leaving today and taking the Hsstak back to Phaedro. The Xi have returned, and I must determine what damage has been done. I need warriors that will help me fight.”

Xir stopped at the door. “Many?”

“Zara stood as well. “Eight, and they must be very capable with fighting inside closed spaces. I will need these same eight warriors at my side very frequently.”

Kpleeb looked at Zara. “Are you expecting a fight?”

“No, Da. I need a regular crew of warriors that are familiar with the Hsstak and with fighting inside the vessel. Better if they are the same warriors every time. They will be my squad. I am also bringing Hiro with me.”

“I call eight warriors.” Xir disappeared through the doorway.

Jial stood gracefully and looked down at Zara. “You careful,” she said softly. In a moment she was gone.

Kpleeb grinned at Zara. “Well, that was fun, right? I think we have our leaders.” He shook his head. “Truthfully, Zara, your wisdom and brain make me feel slow. You are amazing.”

Zara gave Kpleeb a hug and tousled his shaggy hair. “I’m your family, Da. We are special. Before I leave, I want us to test the Xih triangle again.

Kpleeb hopped to his feet. “Okay, let’s go.”

When they placed their palms on the smaller, golden triangles, the column of shimmering light appeared as it had before, and Zara felt a simultaneous micro-pulse from the aji.

“This picture looks the same as it did.” Kpleeb squinted and tilted his head slightly. The pulsating green dot remained in the center, and other, smaller dots remained static. There was no movement at all. “I’m just not sure what this all means.”

Zara merely watched the dots and then opened up her view of the aji. The pulse did not repeat and everything seemed completely normal.

After some time, Kpleeb spoke again. “You should go. The sooner you are gone, the sooner you will return, and I will know that you are safe.”

Zara sighed and lifted her palms causing the light to dissipate. “I had hoped there would be more information.”

###

Zara awoke when Tiirw’s notification chimed to inform her of their arrival. Her five-day trip on the Hsstak had been surprisingly uneventful though she felt some concern that the Xi would be waiting for her when she arrived at Phaedro. She stood and stretched noticing that two of the indicators on her red-tired device were an orangey color. She touched a few protrusions and brought up the live map of Hsstak’s immediate vicinity. [There is something there!]

Zara went quickly to the command center. “Tiirw, what do we see?”

Tiirw responded with its command console, and the center of the room burst into light. Within the hologram rested a large, angular vessel that appeared to be damaged. Zara could see that several gashes left the interior open to the void. Pieces of the ship floated casually nearby as if they were placed there on purpose.

“This is a Xih vessel, the Kssma, which is one of the XC configuration,” said Tiirw. Its eyes and fingers flashed rapidly through commands and the view focused on one of the gaping holes in the side of the Kssma.

Zara walked around the edge of the hologram and picked out the markers she had left within Phaedro’s orbit. “This was done by my traps.”

“I agree,” said Tiirw. It looked at her soberly. “The location is correct.”

“What is the difference between the Kssma and the Hsstak?”

Oiitr spoke before Tiirw as if reciting from a textbook. “The XC configuration is a Xih ship that uses the standard Xi command hull. The XC hosts up to fifty Xi and has a large bay for two landing shuttles. The Hsstak is a XF configuration which is about half the size of the Kssma. Hsstak hosts around ten living beings and has no landing shuttles. The XC configuration is designed to operate in the void, and the XF configuration is designed to land on the surface of an orb such as Phaedro. The Hsstak is one-point-eight times faster than the Kssma.”

[I really need to sit down and see all the kinds of ships the Xi have. Maybe I can capture larger vessels that wield more power.]

Zara nodded at Oiitr. “Are there any Xi alive over there?”

Oiitr tilted its chin downward slightly and then answered. “I detect nothing alive. The Kssma’s atmosphere has been opened to the void.”

Zara gazed at the broken ship for a few long moments. It’s silent, grey hull appearing so benign and non-threatening. She felt as if there was some kind of trap she was missing.

[Can it have been that easy to destroy this ship? Surely, they brought back up or are watching us from a distance.] She frowned. [Check the area, check the surface, and then return with as much as I can use.]

“Take the Hsstak around Phaedro. Look for every possible trap including the traps I left for the Xih. Make sure they are not waiting to jump on us.”

Tiirw began to command the Hsstak and within moments, the ship moved. They waited in tense silence as the Hsstak picked up speed and circled the orb. Within a few long minutes, Tiirw spoke again.

“I detect nothing in orbit except for the remaining traps you laid. I have also scanned the more distant reaches to the extent possible and have found no traces of any other vessel, Xi or otherwise.”

“Good. Now let’s examine our abandoned village. I know that Da laid some traps there.” Zara turned toward Oiitr. “I want bring the Kssma back to Jorqu with us. There is much value in the vessel. Please come up with a solution for this.”

Oiitr lifted its chin and began to work.

The Hsstak dipped quickly into Phaedro’s atmosphere, and below here, Zara could see a vast desert land. Soon enough, a thin green line appeared on the horizon. The desert became grey and then the grey faded into green as the foliage reached its living tentacles out into the heat. The Hsstak slowed and approached the deep canyon from the left side.

Zara clenched her fists as she saw the village approaching. Leading up to the walls there were great swathes of trees that had been blackened and crushed. Lines of darkness radiated outward from the village in all directions as if an explosion had occurred within the walls.

The Hsstak slowed and hovered over the river. The huts inside the walls were burned out. Everything made of wood or straw was destroyed, and in the center of the village rested a Xi ship that appeared similar to the Hsstak. The vessel was blacked and dented, and large holes in its hull allowed sunlight to penetrate into the dark interior. Nearby, outside the village walls, two of the smaller lutu style ships were broken into multiple pieces.

“I detect no living Xi or Ganix-type beings,” said Oiitr, “but I am grateful that Kpleeb made sure his destroyers would ignore the Hsstak.”

“I am grateful as well,” said Zara with a smile. “The danger here is real though. Please land and I will examine the village.”

Zara turned to one of the red-tiered consoles and tapped a few times to prepare for sending a message. “Da, I have arrived safely at our village on Phaedro. There is a large ship in orbit that has been destroyed, and there are three smaller ships destroyed at the village. Your defenses did quite well at destruction, but the village is also destroyed. I plan to scout with the Ganix warriors and then return with as much Xi tech as I can bring. I hope things on Jorqu are well. Be safe.”

Peace-pipe (Caveman Chronicles)

~ I. Graham Smith ~ Leave a comment

The Index -|-

Kpleeb lay on his back. In his peripheral vision, reeds stood joyfully lifting beautiful green fronds above him on thin arms. These fronds waved in a light breeze, and happy sunlight flickered through into his consciousness.

[This would be beautiful… except–]

A loud and piercing cry echoed from somewhere to his left. Kpleeb was startled, and with the reactivation of his senses, the pain set in again. His side hurt along with his arms and head. He felt with his hands and jerked a few small darts away from the skin on his right side. The barbs tugged as they released. He gritted his teeth and raised his head slowly. There was no smoke, only cries of pain and grunts of strenuous effort mixed with heavy breathing scuffling of feet.

He saw pockets of Ganix warriors alone or in small groups. The warriors were at least a head taller than the Hkkli that surrounded them. With a grunt, Kpleeb sat up. In front of him a single Ganix warrior battled a wall of Hkkli. Like all Ganix, the warrior was blindingly fast. His spears jabbed and spun with incredible speed and mostly maintained a large empty space around his body. There was no room for use of the lightning spears because they were longer, heavier, and needed to be held with both hands.

The Hkkli moved in waves. Their bodies were round and furry, and they moved like pear-shaped ninjas. Each one wore a kind of red band on their wrists. Kpleeb saw them as they surrounded the Ganix, seeming to wait for a gap. When a gap was discovered, one Hkkli would swivel on front legs and issue a comical flurry of kicks with their rear legs.

It was comical only in how the attack looked. The mayhem that lay spread throughout the clearing was not so entertaining. As he watched, another pairing of Ganix fell, bloodied by the razor-sharp scissor kicks.

The whine-crack of a lightning spear echoed, and Kpleeb turned his head to see where it had come from. A trio of Ganix warriors protected a half-circle of space next to the Hsstak. Zara stood with her back up against the ship’s hull, and they were surrounded by dozens of Hkkli.

Zara fired the lightning spear again. Another Hkkli fell, but its space was taken instantly by another. She swiped her hand past the Ganix, and several Hkkli were shoved violently into a heap by her use of the aji forces, but there was no material change in her situation.

[She is probably unwilling to use a more powerful attack with the Ganix in such close proximity, but she needs to be willing to hurt a few friends in order to destroy the enemy– if that’s what it takes.]

After a quick check of his immediate vicinity, he found his lightning spear in the grass and grasped it tightly. [Time to save Zara again, if I can.] Kpleeb gritted his teeth and readied himself to stand. He felt the ground shake faintly, and he heard a low rumble. He stood quickly with his spear ready to fire. With a savage grin, he began to unleash lightning repeatedly into the backs of the Hkkli that surrounded Zara. The wooden shaft kicked in his grip, the recoil shaking his arms and shoulders.

The Hkkli attack fell apart, and Zara waved toward him. An undulating mass of Hkkli turned their vengeful gaze on Kpleeb. He shifted and began firing his spear again as quickly as possible, but the Hkkli were incredibly fast. Their darts flew like raindrops driven before a fierce northern storm.

Shrill war cries rose in chorus, and the sound of pounding feet increased.

Kpleeb was pelted with incoming projectiles and agony blossomed anew. He fell to his knees and then slumped to his stomach where the grass tickled his nose. The dull roar increased and with a gust of wind, a stampede of plump Hkkli bodies impacted above him. He blacked out.

Kpleeb awoke sometime later. He lay on his back on a cot made of reeds, and the smooth, grey hull of the Hsstak stretched like a rampart far above him. When he moved his head, he saw Zara standing nearby speaking to a small group of Hkkli. Concern welled up inside him, and he reached out with his hand.

“Da,” Zara said, turning toward him. “You’re awake!” She took his hand and pulled.” Come talk to Hiro and Saeli!”

Kpleeb slowly clambered off the cot and stepped forward to where the small group of Hkkli waited. Beyond them was a great crowd of Hkkli. As far as he could tell, the Hkkli forces had doubled, but the new Hkkli wore green scarves and stood guard over the smaller red-wristed groups. Ganix warriors wielding lightning spears stood between the Hkkli and the Hsstak.

“Is everything okay?” It appeared to Kpleeb that there were many dead and wounded strewn about the clearing, mostly Hkkli with red-wrists.

Zara gestured toward the small group in front of them. “I told you about the Hkkli that were captured on the Hsstak. These are Hiro and Saeli from the Koratu tribe. They came to help us fight the Kiotin.” She pointed toward the Hkkli wearing the red-wrist bands.

Kpleeb bent his head and slapped the side of his head twice, but there was no change to his confusion. “Hkkli fought other Hkkli to save us?”

“Yes, Da. They are our allies because I freed them.” She sighed. “Doing the right thing does pay off sometimes.”

Kpleeb nodded and looked at Hiro and Saeli. “Is this true?”

Saeli spoke in a high-pitched and squeaky voice, and Zara’s device translated. “We are not allies. Zara the Protector returned us to Ulaen, or Jorqu as you call it. The least we can do is repay this debt. An alliance may be obtained, but we will meet you first.”

“We, urh… we appreciate your help,” said Kpleeb gruffly, his head still feeling fairly woolly. “What do we do with the urh… Kiotin?” He glanced at the crowd of warriors. There were so many, and battle could easily spring anew from their midst.

Hiro spoke a halting combination of purring grunts and low squeaks. “Kiotin owe Koratu a large debt. Half will be sacrificed, and the others will join Kiotin as guards for Zara the Protector.” His small and furry claw stretched out. “The debt must be paid.”

Zara looked up at Kpleeb and nodded. “I think the Koratu will become larger and take over the Kiotin tribe-lands. The Kiotin people will be the larger of the two groups and will dominate.”

“Quite the way of winning,” Kpleeb muttered. “We should negotiate to have guards that don’t hate us. It could be a trap.”

Zara nodded and spoke loudly. “Relationships are built on time and trust. Please, come stay and eat with us.” She turned slowly to sit, and Hiro and Saeli stepped backward as if in horror.

“We cannot share grain with you without an alliance,” Saeli squeaked. “We will talk first.” With a small, clawed hand, she beckoned at her side and another Hkkli stepped forward. She carried a woven bag, and from it was produced a short and fat stick covered with intricate carvings. Saeli waddled forward and sat under the awning next Hsstak’s hull. Hiro followed and sat behind her and to her left.

Kpleeb looked at Zara and shrugged. “Seems like we must talk.” He sat across from the Hkkli, and Zara followed suit.

Saeli and Hiro both reclined on their right sides and kicked out their left leg.

Zara grabbed a sack containing tubers and brought it near so that she could lean on it.

Kpleeb sat awkwardly. [Should I recline too? Seems so informal for a new meeting. No. I will not.]

Saeli closed her eyes for several long moments. Then she spoke quietly.

“You must be willing to be ruthless in your attacks.”

Zara and Kpleeb looked at each other, then after a moment, Zara spoke. “What do you mean?”

“Your ikti spears need room to pause and fire. You should have a company of spears in the rear that can snipe at the enemy. Without this, your ikti spears are less effective. You seem to have some power that you hold back as if waiting for a better time.” Saeli swiped her paw in a mimic of Zara’s sweeping attack. “This is why you needed our help.”

Zara blinked. “I cannot harm the Ganix. As my Da told me long ago, they are our family, and we must protect them.”

Kpleeb nodded thoughtfully. “Saeli is right. Of course we try to protect the Ganix, but if you hold back, it may be that every Ganix will die. If you release your full power, perhaps none will die and many will be saved.”

Zara’s expression seemed uncertain as she pondered the statement. “Maybe… I don’t know.”

Saeli spoke again. “You are very strong, but you need Saeli to help with battle.” She huffed her cheeks in a manner that made them wiggle. “You stay here with Koratu for moons, and we will give you tactics and knowledge.” With that, Saeli selected a small device from her neck pouch and touched it to the tip of her carved stick.

The stick began to emit a pale green smoke that reminded Kpleeb of how Fab Elder Shoofit’s feet smelled after a long wetening. He knew what would happen next, and he was right. Whenever a pipe is introduced to a group of people during their first meeting, the meeting would inevitably last quite a long time.

Kpleeb glanced at the large clearing. The Hkkli in green scarves were passing out food and drink to the Hkkli wearing red wristbands.

[This place is nuts.]

After a few moments pondering the scene before him, he took the smoking pipe that was passed from Zara to him. It smelled awful, but he smiled pleasantly and nodded at Hiro and Saeli.

[Perhaps watching large rodents smoke peace pipes is just as nuts as listening to a caveman wax eloquent about his old life next to the canyon river.]

He took a deep draw from the pipe and began to cough. Not wanting to embarrass himself, he held it in and wheezed, eyes watering, until green smoke escaped from his nose.

[Hkkli lettuce. Yuck…]

Coming Snow

~ I. Graham Smith ~ Leave a comment

Pale white, luminous skidding across my view
Slow and inauspicious I wonder what they will do.

Is the temperature right?
When comes the night?
Will the dew point take flight?

The air shifts to blurred a glacial chill filling the sky
The atmosphere ever unheard yet consummating precious time.

Sit and feel the bite
Bringing soon the white
Every child’s delight,

It comes now with swiftness.

First with blowing specks scarcely evident to my eyes
Then little flurries on my neck bare tingles of surprise.

A heavy gusty falling snow thick and wet increases
Hefty for the wind to blow and joyful for the nieces.

The world is transformed parading its coated skin
Autumn leaves are mourned a new year to begin.

Forever quite the sight
Trees bowing to recite
Maker’s handiwork and might.

The River Bend

~ I. Graham Smith ~ Leave a comment

“Meet me tomorrow at our spot on the river,” she said. It was the simplest request whispered softly in my ear. Delicate fingers barely brushed my shoulder in her familiar manner as she turned away. The hair on my neck stood, and a chill wended its way under my collar.

I turned and watched her go, her long hair swaying gently. She wore one of my favorite dresses: light material for the Oklahoma heat, colored pale yellow reflecting her sunny personality, with light-blue flowers like her eyes.

My breath quickened, and my eyes rose to look at the sun. Tomorrow could not come soon enough.

I began my chores. My hands mucked out the barn on muscle-memory. The pitchfork restocked hay without thought. Daydreams played in my mind the rest of the afternoon, circling the same debate over and over. Every angle tested and dwelt on.

[I can find a ring, even if it is temporary. Is it too soon? Will she agree?]

Time seemed to flash by, but somehow when I stepped outside, the sun had not moved. The chores continued, watering, mucking, feeding. At last, I began to repair the fence near the gate. This was my last task, perhaps leaving enough time to find a ring.

[I’ll give her a birch bark ring if I have to!]

“Ma, I’m going to ride into town to pick up some things,” I said as I leaned against the door frame. “Should be no time at all.”

My Ma smiled at me. She was wise as ever and the kindest soul one could meet. “Alright. Try to be back for dinner. I’ll let Pa know.” She crossed the room and gave me a quick squeeze. Her short frame fit under my arms.

“Thanks, Ma,” I said. “I’ll make it quick.” My stomach twisted, conforming with my excited mind.

Upstairs, I leafed through the small wooden box that I kept under my bed. There was not much in it, a few trinkets and slips of paper. I took the few bills and coins and the two nuggets that Gramp had given me. In no time I was on Badger’s back bending low over the saddle.

The dusty streets were mostly bare when I arrived in Harington. I hurried into the general store to speak to William.

“Jake, there is some kind of trouble down by the mill,” William said before I could speak.

[That’s where everyone is…] The news skittered off my thoughts, barely putting a dent in my momentum. “None of my business,” I said. “I’m looking for a ring. Got anything you want to part with?”

William’s eyebrows raised, but he left his question unasked. “I have one or two.” He disappeared into the back room and came out moments later with a small box.

The rings were different. The largest was a gaudy pink and gold monstrosity. The other two were thin and delicate. The silver ring had a small topaz stone, and the gold ring had no stone at all, but its head was flattened and carved with an intricate circular knot pattern.

“How about this one?” I asked pointing at the plain gold band.

“Twenty-seven dollars,” William said.

I nodded slowly. It was a fortune. I fished everything I had out of my pockets and counted out the money. “Five and eighty-five cents,” I said as I dropped the gold nuggets on the counter. “The gold should be enough, right?”

William picked up one of the nuggets. Then he put it down and tapped each one with the blade of his knife. Once he saw the marks that had been created, he dropped the pieces onto his scale. The counterweights slid, and balance was achieved.

“That’s twenty dollars in gold. Still short by a dollar fifteen.”

With my heart in my throat, I looked up at him and opened my mouth in anguish. “I-“

“It’s enough, son.” William’s face cracked into a rare smile that disappeared quickly like the sun behind a cloud. He tore a page out of the day’s paper and then wrapped the ring up and handed me the packet. “Good luck, Jake.”

As I stepped out the door, I heard two distant shots ring out. I recognized them as pistol caliber, but when I turned to look down the street, but could see nothing. On any normal day, I would have ridden Badger over to see the commotion, no doubt part of the ruckus that William had mentioned. Today, however, I was giddy and very eager to run home to dinner.

It was dark when I arrived, and I was grateful for the lantern that Ma had left burning in the kitchen window. The smell of stew hit me as I opened the door, and Ma turned from the table.

“I was wondering when you’d be back. Here, come get some supper.” She eyed me with curiosity. “How’s everything in town?”

I shrugged and then realized that my errand was strange without some other purchase. I had not even brought home a paper or any news. It hit me. “William said there was some kinda ruckus out toward the mill. I heard a couple of shots as I left, but I don’t know nothing else about it.”

“Didn’t go take a look?”

“I knew it was getting to be dinner time, and I was hungry…” I let my excuse trail off as it rang hollow in my ears.

Ma let it go. “Well, eat up, you’re getting skinny.” she said, patting me on my shoulder. “I’m washing tomorrow, make sure you leave this shirt out for me.”

“Yes, ma’am,” I said.

I slept fitfully, my dreams consisting of rocky rapids, and a recurring run through a wood ending with a branch repeatedly knocking me off my feet. It was early when I awoke in earnest. The sun had not yet begun to peek above the pines. I rose and pulled on a clean shirt and britches. In a few moments, I draped the dirty shirt over the chair back in the kitchen, grabbed my boots, and stepped outside. It was quiet except for a cheerful robin singing in the apple tree near the barn. I quietly slid on my boots.

[Soon.] I sighed happily.

Taking off at a brisk walk, I followed the tree-line southward. The morning dawn lit only the first part of the horizon, and it was still very dark in the shadows. I spent my entire childhood here and easily knew my way through the familiar paths. After a few minutes, I began to hear the sound of water. The river eventually opened up before me. I turned right along the bank and followed the trail.

Soon, I reached the river’s bend. The water sluggishly turned around and made a large ‘S’ shape. The natural peninsula there was sandy. Across the bend a large tree hung low over the deep pool that had been created by the flow of water and time. I knew from experience that many fish lived in that deep shade.

Turning, I looked for a place to rest. She would not be here yet, I was certain. I patted my pocket for the fiftieth time to ensure that the ring was with me. I sat on the boulder that rested at the top of the sand. The sun rose slowly, driving away the morning chill with fingers of dawn light.

Time passed slowly, or so I thought. I had no time piece to confirm. Only the sun and my well-honed experience.

[She should be here soon. I can’t wait to see her.]

I was restless. I paced. I skipped stones across the river. My spirits sank until sometime after the noon sun reached its peak, they crawled in the gutter. Anger rose, then denial and hope warred with each other through my heart and mind.

[Does she not feel the way I feel about her?]

I stood with hands clenched and screamed hoarsely at the treetops.

[What a fool. I’ve made such a mistake.]

The journey back home was slow and painful. I over-analyzed and prodded every moment I had spent with her. I wept bitterly for my own loss.

Finally, I walked through the yard toward the house. Ma must have seen me from the window. She came to the porch and wrapped her arms around me. I had no idea why, but like any son, I needed my mother’s love.

After a few moments, she pulled back and looked at my face.

I saw that her eyes were red and watery like mine.

“When did you find out?” she asked gently.

“Find out… what?” I stammered.

“About Jenny.”

[Maybe she meant to break it off with me at the river?]

“What, did she run off with that lawyer?” Anger bubbled up in my voice and threatened to start my tears all over again.

Ma shook her head. “She was in town last night when the shootout started. She’s gone, Jake. Innocent bystander. Mrs. Baker said she had gone into Christina’s for something, and when she came out… Well, it all happened so fast.”

My knees buckled, and I landed on the porch with my forehead on the wood. Ma knelt beside me and rubbed my back, but I resisted.

[I was right there in town. I was only a minute or two away. I could have saved her! I should have been there for her.]

My hands pounded the time-worn planks.

“I need time, Ma.”

Standing in a hurry, I reached in my pocket and pulled out the packet. I shoved it into Ma’s hands and then turned to run back to the river.

“I need time, Ma!” I hollered without looking back.

I was gone.